Baby Can You Feel What I Feel
by Aoi24
Summary: Challenge!fic. Five drabbles prompted off emotion and biology. Crack, AU. Five counts of unrepentent Genderbendering. Crocodile, Dragon, Marco, Ace, Shanks, Mihawk, Nami, Usopp, Garp, Dadan. COMPLETE


Prompts/challenges are fun and more people should do them. Especially when you can get loose with the definitions. XD Like I did here. I randomly decided to genderbend in every single one. No, it's not an anti-yaoi thing (although I don't love yaoi and prefer comradey stuff)

Why? You ask, well that's simple. C:

I could. I wanted to. It's hilarious. The authoress is cruel.

Dignity? Oh no, you don't get any of that while I'm around.

Biologic Emotion Prompt

Pick a character or pairing and write five or more drabbles based off of emotions and/or biology.

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**One**

Character(s): Crocodile/Dragon

Prompt: Bitterness

Once, the air was sweet.

The salty smell of the wind was fresh and teasing. It was a playful shout from the far shore. 'Hurry up and get here! I'm waiting just around the corner.' Adventure was rife and the sea was vast.

Now, everything was dead. The animals, the plants, all that paced on the earth was a worthless husk. Just like her.

She had lost everything. Her crew, her ship, her heart, _her hand_. He could give her all the pretty speeches he wanted; they both knew he was incapable of understanding because he never craved the sea like she did.

In the end, they only really agreed on one thing. They both only really wanted one thing. They had both reached out and touched it for the barest moment before it crumbled to dust and just two stood there in the ashes grieving something that had been forbidden anyway.

She turned away and left him to his glorious revolutions, abandoned that last spark and threw away the last vestiges of her femininity. There was nothing left of the bright young woman running headlong into adventure. Now there was only harsh winds and dry sands. Dreams? Who needs them.

* * *

**Two**

Character(s): Marco/Une aka fem!Ace

Prompt: Libido

Une, Marco decided, wore far too little clothes. It wasn't as if she didn't look god because, ye gods, she did but it was making things rather difficult for him (for one.)

Devil Fruits were an inherently mysterious set of……items? (you couldn't call them food at any rate) and along with great or shitty power they all had some sort of side-effect. You eat something that alters the molecular make up of your body and then you're surprised when there's repercussions? Idiots. These ranged from a minor change in eating or sleeping habits to an implacable urge to wear plaid. (He couldn't figure the link there.)

Marco _roosted_. (Here's our example now.) He sat up in the highest point and sulked when someone got in his way. The urge was so strong that he'd pitched Thatch over the side of the ship once. (Not that the troublemaking bastard hadn't deserved it.) It wasn't that bad as far as odd habits went but they still made fun of him even if they had learned that getting in his way was hazardous to their health and the right way to end up with an _interesting_ set of burns.

Une, so she claimed, was _always warm_. So she strutted around in a pair of mens shorts and a little strappy bikini top. (and occasionally this little leather halter top that nearly made Marco swallow his tongue or a little laced up corset _thing_ that had gotten approval from the nurses.) This meant that Marco would dearly, dearly wish, at least once a day, that Une had been born a man and hence he wouldn't have these terrible, grating issues.

His obsession with Une and her freckles and her legs and generally everything about her all of which vascillated between cute, sexy and badass far too frequently to be considered the thought process of a sane man. In normal circumstances Marco would have gone out and gotten seriously drunk until he got over it but it tool an obscene amount of alcohol to get him drunk thanks to his devil fruit and they were a good fortnight from the next island. It didn't help that she was half his age and recently made second division commander, it was just asking for trouble. Plus she had daddy issues, so it was a definite no-go no matter how desperately he wanted……gah! 'Right.' He decided 'cold shower. Possible several.'

__

Unfortunately Une was on the bed in his cabin (his personal cabin, a perk of being the first commander.) having shucked her boots in the corner and smirking at him from beneath that _horrible_ Stetson.

"Une…" Marco began in a slightly strangled tone "what are you doing on my bed."

She pouted. "Waiting for you obviously. Generally guys get the message as soon as they see me."

Marco was not going to praise the heavens or cry because this was _not_ a good situation. He took a couple of steps forward and held up his hands placatingly. "Une, this can't be a good idea. You really can't."

"Oh, Are you gay?" she calmly queried with a remarkably disappointed expression.

"Oi!"

"So then what's the problem?" Une grinned and reached for his sash "You're a guy that's into girls, I'm a girl that's into guys. Seems like a perfect match to me."

"Une that's not what I mean at all and dammit could you stop that." He smacked her hands away from his sash. "It's _really _distracting."

She pouted again and Marco whined internally. This was going to get worse before it got better.

"So you don't think I'm attractive?"

Yep, there it is.

"Une, of course you're attractive. You have _marines_ tell you that. But you just can't come into my room and demand sex!"

She held up a finger and tutted disappointedly at him. "Not demanding, freely _offering_ as a consenting adult to a (hopefully) consenting adult."

Marco could feel the shredded remains of his famous restraint snapping as she sighed and started unbuckling her own pants. He lunged and grabbed her hands to stop her and she quickly tugged him down onto the bed and straddled him. (Never say the girl couldn't get things done.)

"Marco." She began in a disappointed yet sultry tone "I'm going to ask you a question and you're going to answer _truthfully_."

The blonde man beneath her noticed that this was distressingly like one of his more recent fantasies.

"When you've used your Devil fruit powers…" She tilted her head and squinted her eyes before looking him dead on. "do you ever feel, I dunno, hungry and horny?"

"What the hell Une?!"

"Well, I do. Every. Single. Time."

She grabbed him by the collar and hauled him up. "Ever since I ate the Mera-Mera no mi. All the bloody time. Hungry I can deal with but _this _is a problem that _really_ needs two to solve it. I like you, I respect you, we get on and hey! You're here. So what's the problem?"

Marco stared at her flatly. What was the problem? Oh yeah, she was half his age and one of his nakama besides Pops probably wouldn't approve of this one.

She glared at him and he noticed that he was sitting with her in his lap. All in all, not a bad place to be.

"Is this some sort of stupid moral issue where you worry about being older than me, your nakama and totally disregard the fact that I'm twenty, a grown woman and a god-damned pirate?"

"Eh, yeah."

She smiled cockily. "My last boyfriend was older y'know."

That he did not like. "What? Une you can't be serious?!"

Une leaned in and purred into his ear. "He was a marine, very…_forceful._"

Marco blinked. "You're far too good at this y'know. Tch, fine. Yes. It's true. Every damn time. All the damn time."

"Perfect!" she chirped and jumped him. He quickly forgot his reservations and Thatch bitched about the noise the following morning and the morning after and the morning after…

**

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**

Three

Character(s): Usoya/Namizou

Prompt: Insecurity

Usoya was not pretty.

She was a homely sort of girl and she supposed that reflected in the clothes she would wear. She had started wearing overalls one day and just never stopped. They were comfortable when she was working and practical. She had gotten used to wearing such baggy clothes around Syrup village and anyone who has ever put on a dress will tell you that it is a highly impractical item of clothes to climb trees in and Usoya would never let a day go by without visiting her best friend kept her long curly black hair tied down under a bandana and while the length was more of an absent minded ignorance to its' growth she never bothered doing anything else with it. You really saw more of the bandana than the hair itself.

She often wondered why she was on the ship. It felt a bit like being the token female if she was totally honest with herself.

Luffy treated her just like a guy and she felt like she had a younger brother. Zoro paid her no heed whatsoever but he didn't give anyone attention unless it was necessary. Sanji twirled and spread hearts everywhere (which _was_ flattering) but that was just how he treated all women because he was a dyed to the bone chivalrous gentleman. (slightly perverted nature aside.) Usoya knew she didn't have anything to fear from him with her skinny frame and non-existent breasts. Sanji lavished a modicum of attention on her because she was a girl and because she was the only girl onboard. She was more than half convinced he did it to make _her_ feel good. She told him that it was unnecessary but he had blinked at her all wide blue eyed innocence (how the hell did _Sanji _of all people pull that look off?) and said: "But Usoya-Swan, you _are_ beautiful!" before twirling back to the kitchen.

Namizou had frowned over his paper and regarded her sharply.

"We're going out to dinner!" he announced "So you'll have to dress up nice and by that I mean you're going to wear what I pick out for you."

Usoya blinked stupidly before deciding that the sharply dressed cartographer was not above raising her debt so she simply nodded briefly and prayed she'd be able to clear her mysteriously increasing debt before she hit forty. No, that wasn't likely. Namizou would own this world and everyone in it the way he was going.

__

True to his word, the orange haired navigator had showed up at the door to her cabin and handed her a box before ordering her to put it on. He also provided her with a pair of comfortable but matching sandals and insisted on brushing out her hair.

Sanji had wiggled and noodled around her in approval before sardonically taking a drag on his cigarette and telling Namizou to have her back before her curfew because 'no daughter of mine is going gallivanting around in the wild hours with some disreputable young man.' Luffy then joined in and declared that he was 'mom' for the evening and he knew when boys came to take girls out to dinner they always brought the mother some chocolates and he knew it was true because Makino had told him. Sanji mourned that he had such an ugly wife but at least 'she' was better than their ill behaved dog which was going to be drowned. Zoro attacked him and they were still scuffling when Namizou carted her off the Merry.

Namizou, for all his mean ways with money, certainly had a taste for the finer things in life. He was quite at home in the elegant restaurant and Usoya did enjoy herself even if she would much rather be sitting in the galley of the Going Merry with the monster trio. The navigator sat back with a contented sigh and sipped his coffee.

"No insult to Sanji but that was marvellous. It's nice to eat a meal without a ruckus every now and then."

"Yeah, keeping Luffy out of your dinner _is _a full time job." Usoya sighed.

"Some time away from the chaos gives you a chance to relax." Namizou stated rather authoratively "Plus a girl needs to dress up in something pretty every now and then, am I right? Usoya-chan."

Usoya started and blushed. "Eh, ah I wouldn't know."

Namizou rolled his eyes. "Of course you would. You _are _a pretty girl in case hanging around with Luffy has made you forget that you are one."

"Kaya-chan is pretty, I'm.."

"A completely different appeal of course. She's the blonde, demure, young lady. You're the pretty vivacious brunette." He flapped his hand dismissively "It's like comparing two completely different maps. No matter how much you look at them, they're still going to be maps of different places. They can't really be compared."

"I'm skinny."

"Slender."

"A liar."

"Imaginative."

"My skin is a muddy shade!!"

"You've a tan most women would kill for."

"My hair is a bush."

"Voluminous curls."

They stared each other down for a moment before Namizou smirked. "Aren't you going to mention your nose."

"Hey, I inherited this nose from my mother."

"It certainly adds character. You wouldn't be you without it."

Namizou laughed and for a moment everything in the world was beautiful and wonderful before Usoya realised that a crush on this guy could cost her everything up to her first born so she'd better rein it in.

He smiled. "Cheer up Usoya. You've been down lately. Everyone was worried. My sister always said that sometimes a girl needs to dress up, go out and feel pretty for a while but I think you won't be completely happy until you've shot down a few targets am I right?"

She blinked in surprise as he graciously led her out of the restaurant (refusing to tip the waiter) and back towards the ship.

"Perspective is everything Usoya. Just because you can't see something doesn't mean we can't. _We_ think you're pretty so why not take our word on it." He promptly dropped a kiss on her nose and sauntered back to the ship.

All her children she decided. And all of their grandchildren too. Namizou would make you want to sign them over. How unfair he makes it seem as if it would be utterly worth it.

**

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**Four**

Character(s): Mihawk/Shanks

Prompt: Affection

Tan limbs a flailing, a long red braid swinging wildly and 'other' things bouncing wildly. A lesser man would have reacted.

She slung her arm over his shoulder while continuously chatting about their last voyage and the interesting things that they had seen, the good fights and most importantly the parties they had since they'd last seen him.

It was nice, he decided, to have one place where he would always be welcomed back with open arms.

__

When she returned from the East Blue without an arm it took every ounce of his infamous self-control not to rampaging through that peaceful ocean looking for the culprit.

When he informed her that he would no longer seek to spar with her he caught the expression that flittered over face; part regret, part sadness and a touch of hunger. She looked him flat in the eye and told him that she understood and he knew that she truly did. Then she told him to drink up and re-enforced his initial impression.

For all that had changed, very little was different.

__

When he brought her the bounty poster of Monkey D. Luffy an expression of hunger came into her face. It was utterly predatory, the look of an alpha spotting a worthy challenge. Quite frankly it was the sexiest thing he had ever seen.

He noted that he had worn the same look himself when he had discovered the upstart Roronoa.

__

When she appeared on the battlefield he told the marines that battling Akagami had not been in their agreement.

He would never fight her for them. They would fight for their own reasons.

__

He faced her crew with the same stoic expression he showed to everyone else even if they were uniformly annoying bastards. He got on with Beckmann just fine but the others pissed him off something awful.

Yasopp has no idea how close he has come to death.

__

She always flirts with Marco the Phoenix whenever she sees him and invites him to join her crew. Marco, for his part, always refuses and is always deeply annoyed.

In recent years his irritation has increased and he usually yells at her (from a safe distance) because he has finally figured out why 'Hawk-eyes' Mihawk hates him.

__

She told Whitebeard that she bet it on a new age. She told him everything. Every meeting, every conversation and absolutely every single thing that Luffy did. She told him everything and told him how she didn't regret a thing.

He knows this to be the truth.

__

She dozes against him and Ben gives him an amused look before leaving. Her hair, still as red as ever, has come looses from her customary braid and flows down her back catching the fading light. He thinks that he has never seen a more beautiful colour.

In moments like this he is amazed at how fragile she appears. The missing arm permits her to press in to him far closer and he is again reminded that despite everything she has proven to be more mortal and fallible than him. He's not sure he likes that.

He can't imagine this vibrant, powerful woman dying but she has clearly come so close before. He rather hopes he dies first.

* * *

**Five**

Character(s): Dadan/Garp

Prompt: Grief.

Dadan knew Dragon that wasn't going to be a Marine long before Garp did.

In fact, she knew he would be anti-government element the day the serious looking six year old had asked her who the tenryuubito were. Garp didn't catch on until his son was in his early teens but he stayed in denial for a while. (In fact she had her suspicions when he showed unusual interest in her kitchen knives as an infant.)

__

When Dragon departed in the mists of the night to become a revolutionary they had their first row. They had never actually fought before. There had only been scoldings for trivial matters like Garp falling asleep mid meal/conversation/significantly more awkward moments or someone eating all of the cakes. Voices were raised, furniture was broken and walls demolished.

They sat in the ruins and stared out into the garden realising that there will never be a day where Garp will arrive home through the walls to surprise grandchildren. There will never be a day when Dragon will arrive to visit them. For all extensive purposes their son had to be dead to them. They understood but it was still hard to accept. Morbidly enough, it would have been easier to bury him. At least then they could have properly grieved his loss.

Now he was just gone, beyond their reach and they were unlikely to see him alive in the same lifetime.

**

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**

**One:** Pretty obvious IMHO. Moar Fem!CrocXDragon. Yes, I support this too. Haven't you figured out what kind of twisted individual I am yet?

**Two: **The idea that everyone who eats a devil fruit gets the 'vampire slayer' repercussions amuses the hell out of me. : ) So yeah, Une goes and burns some Marine bases to the ground and then she gets hungry and horny as hell and this is the same for loads of other fruit users so she decides that Marco is going to be her lover/boyfriend because it's a rather sensible idea and he should get on board with it. Yes, that is a Smoker/Ace reference or rather Smoker/Une (I know the ages are wrong, don't spoil my fun. ) I think/know my Marco is OOC.

**Three: **Genderbent UsoNa. Cute as hell in any gender. C: I think Sanji and Namizou would get on well with their taste in sharp suits. There'd still be tales I think but I don't think Usoya would lie about her appearance so directly. It's a bit of an inferiority complex because she looked up to Kaya so much.

**Four: **Fem!Shanks is just as awesome as regular Shanks thank you very much. You can read into their relationship as you wish. We know they're friends in canon and they're close here but whether or not they're actually lovers is up to you.

**Five: **Yeah………I have no comment. I needed to make up with my Fem!Dadan side. XD


End file.
